January 20, 2008 2312 hours, Uttara, Bangladesh
I sit under the moshori (mosquito net) wondering about what to write in this next, overdue blog entry. I’ve seen and experienced much in this past month, asking big questions and marvel about the next step in this journey. I have only a few hours before I wake up to lead 8 students on the wards of the country’s most respected hospital, however I can’t sleep; it wasn’t too long ago I stayed up long nights writing up drug cards and researching nursing care plans before clinicals, but now, reading and preparing myself to teach junior nurses on basic nursing skills. For how much I read, I always feel I’m not prepared enough or know enough to deliver information or carry out a class. I wonder if my past teachers also felt that way… oh how much I respect the perseverance of my tutors now more than ever!
Not too long ago, I made the decision I will return to Bangladesh… I know that I will want to see how things have progressed, and I know how much work is left to be done, and I also know that small steps will make small changes. I am learning to hold myself as a professional nurse and teacher, and how patience and determination will not fail as long as “giving up” is not an option. I anticipated prior to taking on this endeavor that I will be confronting the stark reality of uncertainty, and the art of compromise - coming from a society with the security and infrastructures that allows one to have a pretty stable upbringing compared to one with a scarcity of all that… at the time being, its finding the balance between the “ideal” and “less ideal.”
In a few months time, I will go home, and very likely be angry at things that I took for granted and scold others, pointing out how people half-way around the globe have far bigger issues to worry about than coffee breaks - but since when does that make significant changes?
I keep myself sane with the discovery of the local éclairs and chanachur, and watch pirated copies of LOST, and listen to the Fray on my iPod, with the sound of prayers in the distance. When I go home, I'd probably find the Albertan winters cold and bleak, lacking the colourful sights of rickshaws and sharee's drying in the wind. I’m still Katia, I just happened to have temporarily stepped into a world with so little of what I have been so blessed with.
3 comments:
Long time no hear from me! So sorry. Its amazing how one can be sucked into there own special little bubble. I get the impression that you're having some pretty incredible life changing moments. Perhaps some of which are quite saddening leaving you at loose ends? I imagine that you come in contact with a great deal of people that could use so much guidance and assistance and there just isn't enough of you to go around or perhaps the changes are too slow to help those in need right at the present?! Ya I struggled with good ol' Canada when I came back from sailing in 95'. I always thought if only I could provide people with a miniscule understanding of what a normal day is for many people in third world countries, perhaps people would bitch a tad less and appreciate how fortunate we are as Canadians. Mind you there is endless amounts of amazing people doing good in this country whether its our chemo nurse helping her patient come to terms with death or an emerg nurse bringing a cup of tea and warm blanket to our one to many homeless people in town here, people in this country are touching peoples hearts in so many ways that are not seen on a regular day to day basis. My job up here in the North has really made me come to appreciate how often people reach out and tough others!.........Well I love living thru your experiences. Absolutely amazing. Plus I think the fact your always questioning whether your ready for your students etc makes you all the better person to guide them!...........Love hearing from you. Cheers Julie
Happy Birthday sweetie! Hope someone is singing "Happy Birthday" to you there, in Bengali!
Lots of hugs and kisses,
Huong
Did you change the background =P
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